Free Counter

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

We extend our relations...

Why lesbians have so many problems to emerge with others?. We understand by going out with one or more women, perhaps having sex without reaching a decision or thinking about long delays, or the nature of this new relationship.

Why gambalain dahil we have to make decisions about a relationship?. It's always something to see: two women begin to leave and immediately defined themselves as a couple. Once sex is taken as granted that now have a long-term relationship.

Maybe we should rethink this. Suddenly many of the problems that occur in lesbian relationships is not taking the time to get out without getting involved with other immediately and force a relationship.

Prove to the world

Perhaps our relations hurry to prove to the world homophobic (and ourselves) that lesbians exist. We have to have stable relationships and these have to operate. We are always afraid of the idea of two women together without commitment (this makes sense in the context of homophobia). But perhaps we should be more conscious about the quality of relations, and not be related to assume that someone is better than being single.

Participation in an appointment

Having an appointment is not easy. For some reason, most lesbians who disapproves of the citations have more than one woman. You can hear the criticism "She's a player you used can not commit" and much more, it is assumed to have appointments with different women is wrong. It's easy to see that they came from these stereotypes, our unique role models are heterosexual men. But as we are definitely lesbians who treat women with respect, we must avoid thinking about these stereotypes.

There are many other reasons why they have appointments can be difficult. An appointment involves the risk of going out to meet women, initiate talks, ask a woman to leave, have a conversation in the evening with someone you do not know very well and perhaps think about sex (and if you think, how to start searching). You can not wait to be sure, and maybe risk being rejected. Many women also worry whether they are attractive or desirable.

And that's not all. As a lesbian, actually places where there is not much to find other lesbians, and places that exist are not always the easiest to penetrate. And if they do not go to these places identified as environment, we can not meet other lesbians or know a girl to get an appointment.

Having an appointment involves undefined situations such as not knowing who to believe, be insecure they mean to one another and possibly feeling very confused. For many lesbians this uncharted territory makes them feel out of control and terrorized.

To feel more secure prefer to define as rapidly as possible and establish a relationship clearly the parameters of the same. But if the definition of the relationship is hasty and not find what you're looking at this woman in particular, this will be a big mistake. And as is so difficult to have appointments, many lesbians remain in a relationship for much longer than they wanted, precisely because they are afraid of having an appointment with another woman.

A relationship of long duration is synonymous with a healthy relationship?

As a community, we tend to admire lesbians who have long relationships. But we applaud these relations without knowing the quality. Everything we have seen are heterosexual couples who are together even when it is not healthy for the parties, pressured by social expectations or family pressures, children and much more.

But we are not obliged to make the same mistakes. If we are to women we love and we feel it is wonderful to be in a relationship of long duration. But if not, we must not allow fear not find another woman or a possible rejection prevents us pursue happiness.

Taking our time

It takes considerable effort and conscientious not fall into the idea that we already have a relationship by having a couple of quotations or sex. Establish limits, give us time to see how we feel, talk about things and know the difference between a clutter of hormones and love is the ideal that both seek, and are not easy things to do. But it is possible. And if we allow ourselves to take appointments, we will find that we have more time to decide what they really seek. Because the choice of our partners should not be made in haste.

0 comentarios: