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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Mothers for two... a new model of family

Hi dear friends, I wanted to share with you an interview conducted by Aldo Fernandez Turitich in Ag magazine, a pair of lesbian mothers, the birth mother Rome Triana and her partner, they are part of a family Homoparental of Buenos Aires (Argentina) and have published a book called "Mothers by two."

In this era where the number of families homoparentales, is increasing, we must realize the importance of this type of family in society, the influence that cause in the environment, also be aware of that rejection may suffer children, by society.

In my particular case, I must say I was lucky enough not to feel that rejection at any time, I like Triana, I live with my partner and her daughter (our), at school, in the neighborhood, with neighbors, with their friends, I am a mother, and she has two mothers, and says it without any fear and with all the naturalness of the world, (I am the mother of her sweetheart) and their friends and parents of her friends accept it with complete naturalness , Just with those closest spoke on the topic, with the remainder (and see that I know all parents of the girl in my class) there is no need to talk, you know, what they suspect is not asked, there is tacit knowledge, but accept it with complete naturalness. And now the little 11-year-old has not had any problems. knows she has a family different from the rest, but she is happy and that she likes.

I think it is important that families look homoparentales the place we deserve in society, a place with the same rights, and the same opportunities as other families, where children grow up, happy to develop their personality freely, without prejudice, far away of the bad reviews and rejection of some people.

So I think I would leave them with being interviewed, to reflect on this issue, because although some now, are not part of a family homoparental, sure ...... that in future it will. Why do girls all want to start a family at some point in our lives, sooner or later that time will come. and we know that our families are not like the rest:).

This is a part of the conversation that has the small Tato 5 years ago with Triana his "godmother":

Tato: You do not know what love is because you never fell in love ...

Triana: How not! I fell in love with your mother ...

Tato: How my mom! ?

Triana: Yes ... I fell in love with your mother ...

Tato: But mom and you are two women ... What a mess! ...

Triana: Why mess?

Tato: Because society does not allow two women in love (words of Tato five years) currently has 6 years

This conversation between Tato and one of their moms-Triana-arises when Tato told her in confidence that he was in love with a mate from kindergarten.

Tato today has six years, attends the first grade of Primary School and lives in the neighborhood of Congreso in Buenos Aires with his little brother, 3 months and his two moms: Triana and Rome.

How do you react when Tato said that "society does not allow two women will in love"?

Rome: I told him I wanted the best for his brother and for him and that tomorrow might choose with whom to share life, like me, and that could be guided by the heart.

I imagine that, as well as Tato strip phrases rather strong, it must also address the theme of living in a family homoparental with a lot innocence ...

Yes, one day I had bought two rings because Triana had met with ten years of being together. They waved and told him they were going to give Triana to celebrate our union. He took the rings and put them on a pillow. When Triana arrive he said: "Well ... now that I'm bigger, I'm going to marry you, because they do not leave to marry outside." First he handed the ring to Triana and told her: "You gonna be all life next to mom, but sometimes she is bad and even get sick." Triana, crying, replied: yes

Then he handed the ring to me and asked me if I would be with Triana also a lifetime. I said yes. So on this day, that day was asked Tato, in this day declare the Nov. 11 "woman and woman," he said.

How do to set the rules of coexistence? ... Because it's not the same degree of authority that has the mother who has a godmother, for example.

Triana to the truth that served her well have shared with other families of the group Families Homoparentales. It is true that the role of mother and godmother is different. For example, Triana said to Tato always what I was saying that he had to accomplish, that I had to do in any case. The phrase that Triana loved was: "It got to be respected because she is going to be with you always, I can say anything but your mother does not ....".

Honestly, how do you feel with this difference in roles?

At first I wondered how did Triana to endure and stay on the sidelines, how they stand to Tato not told her: Mom. As we speak, and I confessed their fears about the "outside" by the view of society, she was afraid that if Tato said it had two moms, they mocked him and treated him as strange. A Triana helped a lot to talk with two moms who are under the same conditions as us, namely that one of the two is not the biological mother.

What facts to bother Triana today?

At the moment, to Triana bothers that much, for example, Tato not tell mom. In addition, Tato sometimes asks me to leave me alone to do things and the Triana sidelined. But these things are supported by my father. In fact, my father did not recognize the place that has Triana in my life.

And your mother?

My mother was also accepted over time that we are family. When we wanted a baby with Triana went to the doctor and ask that the baby appeared to Triana, I mean that the baby will blond, clear-eyed, my mother said that what we were doing was an aberration .... then my mother and apologized to us, today gives us a gift to each one for Mother's Day.

What efforts have you to do that Triana is the place it deserves in the family?

I meant a lot in time to recognize that Triana would like to take its rightful place, she began to raise why could not it also call mom, or why not asked her opinion too. Because I was driving alone taking decisions. Triana was so I started to ask for more participation. It's hard to resign this unique place as a single mother who I was. I meant analysis time and moments of anguish, but on the other hand, I was pleased that Triana began occupying their role as mothers.

Specifically ¿what had to stop doing?

Activities and places to Triana starting to deal: I stopped going to meetings of the school. Triana is a woman with a great capacity to show affection. Play with children. On the contrary, I am very boring. So balancing. Triana is responsible, for example, the tasks of the school, the activities of karate.

Have you ever thought what would happen in the event of a breakdown in the relationship in relation to possession of the children?

We were apart for seven months, when Tato was 2 years. It was a crisis in the couple. Tato went to the home of Triana around the time of separation. Today I do not know ... maybe I quit wasting; for Tato, Triana is the sun. However, in the strictly legal aspect, Triana has no right, the coverage is nothing.

Do you think then that there should be a law that contemplates the families homoparentales?

Yes. We signed a document before a notary who said that just in case something happens to me, Triana can be taken care of the children, unfortunately in Argentina are not allowed to do otherwise. And this, if anyone in my family calls tenure. For example, my father, during the placement of the second birth, I came to say that if Tato went Triana, will stays to that kind of "particular people," I told him that that particular people are people like me, gay .. .

I think my father did not even take my reality and my sexual preference. Today he is the most problematic. In contrast, my mother who is accepting the situation of families homoparentales say that all women are lesbians but says she thinks that the only authentic Triana is a lesbian because fixes roofs, and repairs things, for Mother's Day is Gift a knife to the barbecue, I do not know yet what it has to idea that lesbians. She associates my lesbianism to what I what I intend to achieve, the fight for something.

Does the fact that it had too many drawbacks not be related to the fact that certain circles where you've chosen to be fully visible?

If you can be ... My father, for instance, knows nothing of the book "Mothers by two" and yes, this has to do with the issue of visibility, because it would cause much modesty to him if he learns from the book, Furtheris my work situation.

Source: Ag magazine

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